Sulamita Garcia

July 25, 2011

I had a dream…

Filed under: english,linkedin,nerdices,powerpuffgirls — sulamita @ 10:00 am

In the future, operating systems will be obsolete. Computers would have personalities. One could be sarcastic, another would be really nice and optimistic, and another would be quiet, artistic and musical. All according with the owner’s personality and desire, and learning user habits and preferences…

A bit of Sci-fi? Hold that thought…

As I mention before, I have an increase interest for cognitive science. It’s the one thing that awakes my passion for technology that has been missing for quite some time. After more than 10 years dealing with integration and support, everything feels like ‘been there, done that’. Even if it’s a new piece of software, protocol, language or interface, it’s a matter of finding out how it works and done, next. So I’m on a very reflective moment in my professional career trying to find what’s next. Not just next position or next job, but in the big picture, what’s next for me, what do I really want to do. And what I really would like to do is to make integration among computers and people, to find new ways to develop computers. Keyboard for instance; it feels such an engineer’s solution. I have no doubt that iPhone and Wii success are hugely due the fact they integrate the user physically in the virtual world they represent, invoking the touch sense rather than just sight.

So, I’m thinking and reading and wondering… but two days ago, I question in my head made me freeze: ‘very nice, but do you have enough imagination to do such work?’ It was a doubt. I’m very creative, but how creative am I really? I was still thinking about it when went to bed, and there is that zone between sleep and awareness where I started imagining…

In the future, computers should have personalities. No keyboard or even input devices should be necessary; we already have headsets reading brain waves, and voice recognition has got to be better by them. Display could be anything, isn’t there this new window glasses where you can display information? So, not just the TV, but your microwave could display news and weather forecast. But that’s for someone who would like to read the news in the morning… what about someone like me, who prefer music? And maybe my microwave would already warm up the milk and pour my coffee.  The fridge would warn that I’m running out of cottage cheese and add it to the list, which would be a list that accepts both touch input – selecting the items I want from the supermarket’s products pictures  – but also accepting my writing and adding it to the list. But that’s easy – fridges are already running Linux

Ok, so the person who likes news can see the news and I can hear music and have my breakfast, what about the family organizing everyone’s breakfast and getting ready to take the kids to school? Traffic information would be nice; ideas for recipes for lunch based on what’s available in the fridge and cupboard, maybe a connected food processor would start chopping the vegetables before you arrive? Adding spices would be my part to it, I never know when I feel like adding cumin or oregano…

The computer would be the main brain of such network of devices. Having your data in the cloud seems fine, until you ran into problems like bandwidth, the fact your data is controlled by someone else and they may shut it down – or even the government may cut your access. So the PC would be an “in-house-cloud-server”. It could be inside of a wall – I bet some people would have it already; I’m certainly doing that when I have my own apartment. And the display would be a small one in the wall, which would display pictures while not in use. So user interfaces also will be obsolete. But all this can only be possible if the industry ever agree on following standards. If you have one ‘Samsung house’ or one ‘Siemens house’, everyone will have to start from scratch and I won’t be able to see it in my lifetime. If we all use the same protocols and APIs, we could do that by 2050 maybe…

Of course, we are talking about people living in areas with Internet access and with money to buy such electric devices – and in many countries, that’s not really an issue. But if we really would like to change everyone’s experience, we need to think about everyone – poor people in Africa, India, Brazil. And amazes me the power technology has, the importance it has over many things I would think are more important. I’ve seen a presentation showing how people use cell phones in some regions in Africa, where there is one source of electricity for everyone, usually in the center of the village, in the city hall or something like it. That doesn’t stop them from having cell phones – remembering glorious days of Nokia phones whose batteries lasted more than one week… so everyone takes their phones to the electricity source and charges them there. Those phones have processing capabilities and network coverage, what else could they do? Play radio? Will processor be so small, cheap and powerful that even those people would manage to have one? So they would have TV and internet capabilities?

And why do we have to hold phones anyway? They are so annoying when you are in a long call, so unnatural to hold them to carry everywhere… why can’t I have already a wristwatch phone, or even bracelet-phone? Even better if I can change its colour to match my outfit – and I hope by 2050 we are over that idea that everything for women has to be pink, please. My watch phone would have a small earpiece for receiving or making calls…

It’s a bunch of ideas and idealization. It may be utopia. It may be people already developing it. But it sure answers my question – I do have imagination…

July 11, 2011

Qt, MeeGo and AppUp – Qt Contributors Summit

Filed under: english,eventos,linkedin,nerdices,powerpuffgirls,viagens — sulamita @ 5:57 am
Tags:

I recently attended the Qt Contributors Summit in Berlin, from June 16 to 18, 2011. The unconference was held in the nice Café Moskau, with many room and common areas for chatting. The main focus for the unconference was to talk about the next version of Qt and the definition of an open governance structure, reclaimed by developers for so long.

Lars Knoll opened the discussion about the next version in one of the first sessions. The last major version for Qt – Qt 4 – was launched 6 years ago. The world was a very different place, and users’ expectations now are also different. There was no iPhone or applications store, touch screen was not prominent and social media just starting. Nowadays all this is just basics, and so Qt framework wants to provide easy infrastructure for developers to create applications meeting those expectations. Qt Quick/QML will play a huge role in this scenario – they will have almost the same capabilities and resources as Qt. The intention is to make easier for ‘opportunistic developers’ – those who want to create simple and small applications to monetize – to use Qt. There were many discussions on how to do that, the priorities, but main message – everything is going QML. Pure Qt resources will continue to be available and improved, but QML is expected to be sufficient for most developers. But I invite my friend and consulting resource for QML, Helio Castro, to write more about it.

Another big conversation was the open governance. Community has been asking this for a long time – 11 years to be exactly – and it is finally happening. The governance will be similar to the Linux kernel governance:

This blog post explains it in details – http://labs.qt.nokia.com/2011/05/20/open-governance-roles-and-responsibilities/ – and as I could not do any better, I will leave to the link to explain J there is also a talk – or rather a discussion – held by Thiago Macieira at Qt Developer Days 2010. http://qt.nokia.com/developer/learning/online/talks/developerdays2010/tech-talks/qt-301s-open-governance-model/

I held two sessions: Qt, MeeGo & AppUp Developer Program and – due the interest raised in this session – MeeGo Application development store.

In the first session, several developers seemed please to find out AppUp is a perfect channel for open source applications to reach mass users on Windows desktops. As Qt is a multi-platform, there are a huge number of Qt applications also available for Windows, but no efficient distribution channel. AppUp is this channel, offering the possibility to distribute open source applications with the source code. When you upload your application, you can choose between several open source licenses, and if you do so, you are required to submit also your SRPM source code package. And your application will be available not only on AppUp, but also on many applications store powered by AppUp. One of the most recent examples is Dixons KnowHow store, pre-installed in netbooks being sold by one of the largest retailers in UK and Ireland. But I shall go into further details in a future post, with screenshots and examples.

During this session, there were many questions on MeeGo application development environment. So we scheduled another session for the next day to talk about the resources and the community to support it. The first place to look at is the main wiki page for MeeGo Apps. Conversations about MeeGo application development are happening in the MeeGo community mailing list and the main #meego irc channel hosted on Freenode. To help developers to package their applications, there is a community OBS server – OpenSuse Building System. For open source applications, developers can request an account for free and submit their code. To host the source code in a collaborative way, MeeGo suggests Gitorious, where developers can also create an account for free.

On the wiki page, you can find the guidelines for packaging applications for Meego, as well as information about the QA process. When one application is submitted to testing, the community can test and rate it. Long story short, if an application has been tested enough and is approved, it will be available in the community repository. You can find more information in the documentation ahead. I’m still learning the process myself, so I can submit more information later.

And overall, was an extremely well planned and awesome event. And even so it was an unconference, the conversations in the hallway still provide many great opportunity and insights. I’ve learn about several great projects, like QML 3D and Gluon, both of with deserve their own blog posts. I also hope the developer present there appreciate our efforts on bringing ClubMate to the unconference – even if that meant empting Germany’s supply that week! And I would like to thank Alexandra Leisse for the amazing job organizing everything – you literally rock! Seriously, you people need to hear her singing…

I shall declare Mondays the Blogging day for me, and hope you all enjoy some of the reports. If you have any suggestions on what subject you would like to see more of, leave your suggestion!

June 24, 2011

Geek Runner

Filed under: english,linkedin,nerdices,powerpuffgirls — sulamita @ 4:16 pm

So this year I decided to embrace my dislike of gyms. I’ve been fighting this dislike for a long time, to the point of hiring personal trainers to make sure I would actually go to the gym and do the exercises without having to memorize everything. Two years, 4 PTs and a lot of money later, I have to say it didn’t work. No fault on the PTs, don’t get me wrong. Although I would appreciate if they could get to a minimum consensus on how training should be, but that’s their issue. On my side, I did get fit; I was less stressed and with almost no fibromyalgia symptoms, had many laughs and learned a lot, but didn’t lose weight. And it’s very simple – exercise and no diet won’t make you lose weight. Dieting and no exercise will. So, exercise is just for management – toning up and stress prevention. And I won’t argue about this point anymore – you can say whatever you want, I won’t change my mind. And if exercise is management, I can tune it down a bit.

Living in Munich is a great motivator for outdoor exercising. Everyone is on their bikes, the sky is blue and there’s green everywhere. So after buying me a nice Fahrrad, I signed up for C25K program and started running – and loved it. I thought I didn’t like running – what I didn’t like was gyms. So after a few weeks, still building up resistance but several apps later, I decided to do a post about it. If you like technology to motivate you, maybe you will find this helpful. You probably also will need a smartphone…

Like I mention, the first app was C25K, or Couch (potato) to 5K run. Although it says K, the distance in there is measured in miles, and you can adjust your goal from 3 to 5 miles. Which is the first low point – how hard it is to have the metrics also in kilometres and kilos instead miles and pounds? I found this app long time ago on The Lady Geek TV app show, and was curious since then. I really like it because it acts like a coach, giving you feedback on what you should do: “warm up”, “run”, “walk”, “run”, “walk”… “cool down”. It tracks your path by the GPS and allows you to add a music playlist which will play randomly. I filled mine taking songs like “Run to the hills” and “Fly away” on iTunes Genius and pushing the resulting list into the app. I miss an option to tag power songs, to push some sprints especially on the last half of the exercise, when you are warm and feel you have more gas then time left on the app. It also has support for social media – Twitter and Facebook – but I won’t post my newbie lame runs while my friends are posting results preparing for marathons. But for start to running, it’s the best app so far.

I also tested the Nike+ GPS. My pair of tennis shoes/trainers/laufschuh is a Nike Structure Triax+ 13, which has a stronger support to correct pronation. I have to say it gives me a lot more stability than any other shoes I’ve tried, and it was one of the reasons I decide start running. Using regular trainers usually made me feel pain just for walking. This model also has support for Nike+, which is a tiny device you put underneath the sole and counts steps and speed. But since Nike+ GPS app do the same with the phone GPS, this piece it’s a bit useless now. As for the app, it doesn’t have anything especial – music, map, distance feedback, online report and social media – but nothing that makes it stand out from others. The only thing would be having a diary online, but that is also available from Polar. Although it does have the power songs tagging… maybe I should explore it a bit more…

A new app I’m trying is Endomondo. I like the name, I guess it comes from endorphin. I was attracted by the possibility to integrating with my heart rate monitor Polar FT60 – but it wasn’t what I thought. See, I love my FT60 – it keeps the log of my training and gives me feedback on the progression; counts my calories according to heart rate but also with the log and previous workouts; and even nags me if I’m particularly lazy in a certain week (feature I disabled after giving up on the gym, I may turn it back on now I’m regularly running). I love it even though Polar shamelessly won’t support Twitter or Facebook posting status, which drove me mad many times as I worked out my ass off into workouts like body combat or double spinning classes, which I would like to brag about it. But no, I had to post it only on my personal blog under https://www.polarpersonaltrainer.com/, where only other Polar users could see. Many people request social media on Polar forums and Facebook page, but no answer from the company. And c’mon Polar, I’ve worked with social media libraries and if I can write a small app to do it, you can too.

Unfortunately, Endomondo don’t work with the FT60, will only work with a Wearlink+(the strap to capture heart rate) with Bluetooth support. And the one with Bluetooth won’t work with my FT60. Maybe Polar is driven by personal trainers, each one believing their training is the correct one and all others are wrong, so not even their own devices talk to each other… Right now I don’t have any particular motivation for buying a Wearlink+ with Bluetooth after spending good money on Polar to leave my precious pink FT60 useless. Maybe I’m the wrong type of consumer who still expects devices to last longer than two years. Hippies… and without that, I’m not sure I need Endomondo. But I will test it a bit more, since many friends are there.

And although I really like my Triax trainners, I’m really inclined to try five-fingers and barefoot running. I love to feel the grass under my foot or burry them on the sand, but I have fairly sensitive feet and I don’t know if that will work. I never liked Converse trainers because of that; I could feel every bump or small rocks on the street. But at the same time, I read about how trainers actually make your muscles weaker for too much cushion, so barefoot running would actually strength them. I’m not sure I will be able to get used to, but I’m willing to try.

I hope the fitness gadgetry will congregate at some point. I heard nice things about Garmin devices and the fact they follow industry friendly standards, which would provide better integration with software and applications. If I will have to buy something new, I would probably investigate them. But for now, I would appreciate if C25K could tag power songs and let me use metrics I’m used to instead making me do mental conversions every time. Let’s see who sprints first…

August 15, 2010

The Science behind our decisions

Filed under: english,linkedin — sulamita @ 8:04 am
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Or “why we do what we do”. (or even “what I’ve been reading”.)

I have a growing interest in Cognitive Science. Long story short, I did psychotherapy for a couple of years (and that was by far the best investment in my life, btw). With time, I became more and more intrigued by my own reactions and how many times I perceived myself acting on some impulse from out of nowhere. This nowhere is our subconscious, and our reactions or responses are the results of how our brain perceives situations. So far, nothing new. But why, so many times, do we respond to situations in a manner that we know isn’t the best, yet we seem unable to control it? More, why, after realizing you misinterpreted some situation, do you find yourself reacting exactly the same way again even though you know it’s not good or necessary?

We humans tend to think very highly of ourselves. We are surely capable of amazing things. Shakespeare once wrote a text which many people live by:

What piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!

“How noble in reason”. There are tons of people who believe their rational side is much stronger than the emotional or irrational side. If like me you live surrounded by engineers, you know how they are particularly inclined to think they are purely logical minds. Many of their favourite shows or series praise the ideal logical mind: Spock, House, Sheldon. But even among those Spock-wannabes, it’s very easy to perceive that egos, appearance, defensiveness and well, tribalism plays a strong part.

On the other hand, I’m also intrigued by our reactions to the different. Let’s take racism for instance – it makes absolutely no sense. We all came from Africa, we all have immigrants in our roots – be that Indians or Vikings. I don’t know the author, but this quote is brilliant: “Illegal immigration is not a new problem…Natives Americans use to call it White People”. For me it’s even more absurd when it happens in places like Brazil, a country known by its diversity. There where the native Indians, then came the Europeans, they brought the Africans, and tada, you have Brazil. But there are some people there who pride themselves in being descendants of Italian, German or some other European background, and look down on other people. But when their ancestors came to Brazil, there were lots of displays of xenophobia against these poor, hungry, and houseless immigrants, running away from the war, and who were then granted land by our government.

But as absurd as it is, this behaviour is way too common to think it’s restricted to some people culturally limited (I recommend reading this article if you think otherwise). I mean, I find myself sometimes being angry at some group of people because the way some individuals of this group treat me. I gotta tell you, sometimes it’s really hard being a foreigner, speaking with an accent and being generally clueless about the local costumes around here. And no, I’m not speaking about British people… but even when my reactions were towards a certain group of people, I knew rationally that this was absurd. There are good people and bad people in any race, country, culture and so on. But the fact that I felt inclined to jump into this reaction caught me by surprise. I mean, I’m not the most politically correct person, but it’s one thing to make jokes about certain nationalities and another one to automatically go into defensive mode when meeting one of them.

So, why, so much of the time, do our reactions ignore reason?

The answer to this question is complicated, and there are many books about it, and I’ve been reading a few. Part of the answer lies in our amygdala, a small piece of our brain that can process information much faster than the neocortex and can hijack our system if there is signs of danger – that’s a very, very simplified answer. When our brain recognize an object, our amygdala processes how we feel about that object. If that object has caused any trauma in the past, it’s very likely the amygdala will trigger a fight-or-fly reaction. So, when we are in a situation, our brain recovers the past information about that situation. If most of our memories about something are negatives, no wonder we will have a negative reaction to it – even when that something isn’t precisely the same and very likely doesn’t have the same intentions.

This clearly has a profound impact in our happiness, but can we expand this science beyond psychotherapy? Well, turns out, everything we deal is affected by this. How we decide our finances, our relationships, our interests, our health or activities, all our decisions are based on our experiences, how our brain reacts to things. Cognitive Science is exactly the study of “how information is represented and transformed in a brain or in a machine. It consists of multiple research disciplines, including psychology, artificial intelligence, philosophy, neuroscience, learning sciences, linguistics, anthropology, sociology, and education”.

When I started reading about it, one of the first books I read was Emotional Intelligence – Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. You may think this subtitle is too strong, but many studies have shown that people with high IQ many times fail in professional and personal life for believing that IQ is all that matters and being unable to integrate themselves with others. However, this is a dense and scientific book, and my damaged (by internet) attention span found it difficult to really dive into it. For the past year I’ve been looking more and more into this area, and I’m finding that maybe starting with lighter books would be more productive.

The second book I bought about it is Nudge – Improving your decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness. It’s an amazing book, showing how simple nudges help people make better decisions. For example, did you know that the way food is displayed in a cafeteria influences the selections people make, including how healthy their meal will be? There is the ethical discussion about this, of course: How much should we influence people? How do we control the boundaries of influencing people’s behaviour? Should we influence behaviour at all? But this book has an extensive chapter about finances, and that makes me anxious, so I can’t read it too much right now.

So, I bought two other books. I’ve read only the introduction so far of Predictably Irrational. The one I’m reading right now is called Emotional Design – Why do we love (or hate) everyday things (thanks to Kathy‘s twitt!). That would be the marketing side of Cognitive Science. Why some products are so appealing? How to design a product to appeal to most people? How to decide which people will you  appeal with our product? In the first chapters, this book explains what is involved in product design: the visceral, the behavioural and the reflective design. The visceral design means the appearance, and pretty things get a better first impression. The behaviour design means its usability, if it’s effective at what it does. And the reflective design means the memories and feelings that object brings to you. Which one is more important? Haven’t we all got a useless object, that sometimes isn’t even pretty, but holds a strong memory for us? Or we often buy things that are pretty but not very useful? And since aesthetics are different among cultures, and memories are very personal, you can guess the difficulty inherent in designing products.

I haven’t finished this book yet – nor any of those previously mentioned – but I’m really excited about the area of Cognitive Science. It opens a new dimension on how our brain works, and how emotions play a great deal in everybody’s life. I’m considering applying for a master’s degree in the area, but I will have to wait at least another two years to drop my overseas status and be able to pay the regular fee. But until then, there’s lots of material available, like finishing the books I bought. My plan is to return to them in the reverse order I mentioned them in this post.

And with all that reading a bit of Round Ireland with a Fridge to distract me. Will I ever finish them all?

A Ciência por trás das nossas decisões – tradução vindo depois do almoço :)

March 23, 2010

Ada Lovelace Day – My Heroines

Filed under: english,eventos,nerdices,powerpuffgirls — sulamita @ 7:46 am

“Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging (videologging, podcasting, comic drawing etc.!) to draw attention to the achievements of women in technology and science.Women’s contributions often go unacknowledged, their innovations seldom mentioned, their faces rarely recognised. We want you to tell the world about these unsung heroines, whatever they do. It doesn’t matter how new or old your blog is, what gender you are, what language you blog in, or what you normally blog about – everyone is invited. Just sign the pledge and publish your blog post any time on Wednesday 24th March 2010.”

I have many heroes that inspired me to go ahead. Valerie Aurora, Telsa Gwynne, Pia Waugh, Akkanna Peck, Carla Schroeder, so many… but today I would like to talk about two women, who were the most inspiring for me from the beginning. One is a historical figure, other you may not know.

My historical figure is Grace Hopper. She is someone to admire. Seriously, she was an Admiral :) As many women who made history in Sciences, she was born from a professors couple, who support her interest in academic studies. She is known for many things, the first computer bug, the concept of a compiler and the COBOL language. She won 7 awards for her amazing work in the Navy. She never retired, because every time she tried, they would call her again.

Once Jon Hall “Maddog” told me some stories about her. See, he meet her in person, and attended one of the many talks she would give to schools and academies about Computer Science. The first thing is she was a firm believer that is better to as for forgiveness than for permission. If you ask for permission to do something, you probably will have to fill many forms and reports, schedule, estimations… if instead of that you do it, they may ask ‘why did you do it?’ but you can say ‘sorry, but look! it solves this and that problem, look how great it is now!”. It must have worked, since she could never retired :)

The second thing is about nano and pico seconds. She is from the time when computers were huge, occupying entire rooms, and processing information in seconds or centiseconds. She was talking to a cadet once, and she expressed her frustration visualizing a nanosecond. Then she said ‘get me one nanosecond’. He said ‘I’m sorry?’ and she repeated ‘get me a nanosecond’. From time to time, she would see him and ask ‘where is my nanosecond?’. Some time later, this cadet goes to her and hands a piece of paper. She asks ‘what is this’ and he says ‘this is your nanosecond. This is the distance light covers in one nanosecond’. She was delighted, and whenever she would give talks about Computer Science, she would distribute nanoseconds – pieces of paper of 29.9792458 cm. Some years later, she met the cadet again, only now he was Captain. She said ‘you know, you did a great job with the nanosecond thing, would you be able to get me a picosecond?” This time it took him less than a day , when he came back with a black pepper seed, and said ‘this is your picosecond. In the space of one picosecond, light goes around the surface of this seed.’ After that, she would give away picoseconds, and Maddog still has his save.

My second story is about my first boss. When I entered my first year at university, the Federal University of State of Santa Catarina, I was looking for an internship. I came around this job in the Processing Data Nucleo(NPD) of the university, where they have openings for help desk. I had never ever turned on a computer in my life, I was really scared of doing so because I though I could break it. So I met Katia Juca, the manager of the help desk team for the entire campus. And that was my real beginning with Computer Science. Most classes at that point were about Maths and Logic, only one was programming, so for really getting experiences and using a computer, I had my internship. Kathia taught me the start of everything, and she couldn’t remember the last time she got someone so newbie at it. Under her management, I became a support engineer, than a sysadmin, and later support analyst. I’m one of countless people who passed by the NPD and later developed great careers. We had the best time, we had plenty of new toys to play, we had plenty of support from brilliant minds (I only wish I wasn’t so young to take better advantage of what I had there, but I think I turned out ok). But from all of them, Kathia always was my Amazing Grace. Thank you!

pt_BR

“Ada Lovelace Day é um dia internacional para blogar (vale vídeo, podcast, desenhos, etc) para chamar atenção as conquistas da mulher em tecnologia e ciência. A contribuição feminina geralmente não é reconhecida, suas inovações pouco mencionadas, e suas faces dificilmente reconhecidas. Nós queremos que você diga ao mundo sobre estas heroínas, o que quer que elas façam. Não importa qual novo ou antigo seu blog é, qual seu genero, que idioma você ira blogar, ou o que você normalmente bloga a respeito – todo mundo está convidado. Apenas preencha a inscrição e publique algo no seu blog a qualquer hora na Quarta-Feira, dia 24 de Março de 2010.”

Eu tenho muitas heroínas pessoais que me inspiraram a seguir em frente. Valorie Aurora, Telsa Gwynne, Pia Waugh, Akkanna Peck, Carla Schroeder, tantas… mas hoje eu gostaria de falar a respeito de duas destas heroínas, aquelas que foram as maiores inspirações para mim. Uma é uma figura histórica, a outra você talvez não conheça.

Minha figura histórica é Grace Hopper. Ela é alguem admirável. Sério, ela era Almirante da Marinha dos EUA :) Como muitas das mulheres que fizeram história em Ciências, ela era filha de professores, que a motivaram e incentivaram seus interesses acadêmicos. Ela é conhecida por muitas coisas, como o primeiro bug de computador catalogado, o conceito de compiladores e a linguagem COBOL. Ela ganhou 7 condecorações por seu trabalho na Marinha. Ela nunca conseguiu se aposentar, porque toda vez que ela tentava, eles a chamavam ao trabalho novamente.

Porém, em uma visita ao Brasil, tivemos a honra de conhecer algumas outras histórias curiosas a respeito dela de alguem que a conheceu pessoalmente e esteve em uma de suas palestras, Jon Hall Maddog. A primeira é que ela dizia que era melhor pedir desculpas que pedir permissão. Quando você queria fazer alguma coisa, se você dissesse ao seu chefe “posso fazer tal coisa, será bom por isto isto e isto”, geralmente ele vai pedir que vc preencha um relatório, escreva as vantagens e desvantagens, qual a previsão, o cronograma, as consequências… O invés disso, você vai lá e faz. E quando vierem dizer “porque você fez isto?” você diz “desculpe, mas veja, soluciona este e este problema!”. Deve ter funcionado com ela, já que eles não a deixavam se aposentar…

Outra foi sobre os nano e pico segundos. Ela é do tempo daqueles computadores enormes, que processavam informações em segundos ou centésimos de segundos. Ela certa vez conversando com um cadete estava falando: “sabe, eu posso entender o que é um centesímo de segundo, até mesmo um milésimo de segundo, mas não consigo entender um nanosegundo. Faz o seguinte, me arrume um nanosegundo”. Ele perguntou “como, oficial?” e ela repetiu “me arrume um nanosegundo”. Ele acatou, e frequentemente quando ela o encontrava, ela cobrava novamente “e o meu nanosegundo? Eu não vou esquecê-lo, me consiga um nanosegundo”. Meses depois, este cadete vem até ela e entrega uma folha de papel. Ela pergunta “o que é isto?” ele diz “isto é o seu nanosegundo. Esta é a distância que a luz percorre em um nanosegundo”. Ela ficou encantada, e como sempre fazia palestras sobre computação, passou a distribuir nanosegundos nas palestras: folhas de papel de 29.9792458 cm(segundo o wikipedia a medida que a luz percorre em um nanosegundo é esta). Alguns anos depois, ela encontrou este mesmo cadete, mas agora ele já era capitão. Ela disse “sabe, você fez um trabalho tão bom aquela vez com o nanosegundo, será que você conseguiria para mim um picosegundo?” Desta vez ele levou menos de um dia, aparecendo no outro dia com uma semente de pimenta preta, e a depositou sobre a mesa. Ele diste “este é o seu picosegundo. Em um picosegundo, a luz vai de um lado a outro desta semente.” A partir de então, ela passou a distribuir picosegundos nas suas palestras, e segundo Maddog, ele ainda tem o dele guardado.

MInha segunda história é sobre minha primeira chefe. Quando eu entrei na universidade, na UFSC, eu comecei a procurar por estágios, e encontrei esta vaga no Núcleo de Processamento de Dados, NPD. Eu nunca havia sequer ligado um computador na vida e morria de medo de queimar um ao tentar fazer isto. E neste ponto conheci Kathia Juca, a gerente do time de help desk to campus inteiro. E aquele foi a minha real iniciação em Ciências da Computação. A maioria das aulas naquele período eram sobre matemática e lógica, apenas uma sobre programação, então para ter verdadeira experiência em computadores, eu tinha meu estágio. Kathia me ensinou desde o começo de tudo, desde montar e desmontar uma máquina, instalar, configurar e resolver problemas. Ela não se lembrava a ultima vez que havia pego alguém tão novato na área. Sob o seu gerenciamento, eu me tornei primeiro atendente de help desk, depois administradora de sistemas e mais tarde analista de suporte. Eu faço parte de um imenso grupo de pessoas que passaram pelo NPD e dali seguiram para grandes carreiras profissionais. Nós passamos pelos melhores tempos ali, tinhamos muitos ‘brinquedos’ novos para testar, todo o suporte possível de mentes brilhantes que trabalhavam ali (eu apenas gostaria de não ser tão nova quando passei por ali e saber que eu deveria ter aproveitado melhor o que tinha disponível, mas no fim das contas, acho que consegui me desenvolver bem). Mas de todos, Kathia sempre foi minha Amazing Grace. Muito Obrigada!

November 26, 2009

My Genetic History

Filed under: english,nerdices — sulamita @ 3:55 pm

I’m still trying to understand how my mother got to carry genes “found today at frequencies seldom greater than 20 percent in Europe, the Middle East, and Central Asia” to a tiny little city in Brazil. But the Middle-East part would explain much better my feisty nature than the Brazilian culture…

YOUR GENETIC HISTORY

Your Branch on the Human Family TreeYour DNA results identify you as belonging to a specific branch of the human family tree called haplogroup T. Haplogroup T contains the following subgroups: T, T2, T3, T4, T5.

The map above shows the direction that your maternal ancestors took as they set out from their original homeland in East Africa. While humans did travel many different paths during a journey that took tens of thousands of years, the lines above represent the dominant trends in this migration.

Over time, the descendants of your ancestors ultimately made it into northeastern Europe, where most members of your haplogroup are found today. But before we can take you back in time and tell their stories, we must first understand how modern science makes this analysis possible.

How DNA Can Help

The string of 569 letters shown above is your mitochondrial sequence, with the letters A, C, T, and G representing the four nucleotides – the chemical building blocks of life – that make up your DNA. The numbers at the top of the page refer to the positions in your sequence where informative mutations have occurred in your ancestors, and tell us a great deal about the history of your genetic lineage.

Here’s how it works. Every once in a while a mutation – a random, natural (and usually harmless) change – occurs in the sequence of your mitochondrial DNA. Think of it as a spelling mistake: one of the “letters” in your sequence may change from a C to a T, or from an A to a G.

After one of these mutations occurs in a particular woman, she then passes it on to her daughters, and her daughters’ daughters, and so on. (Mothers also pass on their mitochondrial DNA to their sons, but the sons in turn do not pass it on.)

Geneticists use these markers from people all over the world to construct one giant mitochondrial family tree. As you can imagine, the tree is very complex, but scientists can now determine both the age and geographic spread of each branch to reconstruct the prehistoric movements of our ancestors.

By looking at the mutations that you carry, we can trace your lineage, ancestor by ancestor, to reveal the path they traveled as they moved out of Africa. Our story begins with your earliest ancestor. Who was she, where did she live, and what is her story?

Your Ancestral Journey: What We Know Now

We will now take you back through the stories of your distant ancestors and show how the movements of their descendants gave rise to your mitochondrial lineage.

Each segment on the map above represents the migratory path of successive groups that eventually coalesced to form your branch of the tree. We start with your oldest ancestor, “Eve,” and walk forward to more recent times, showing at each step the line of your ancestors who lived up to that point.

Mitochondrial Eve: The Mother of Us All

Ancestral Line: “Mitochondrial Eve”

Our story begins in Africa sometime between 150,000 and 170,000 years ago, with a woman whom anthropologists have nicknamed “Mitochondrial Eve.”

She was awarded this mythic epithet in 1987 when population geneticists discovered that all people alive on the planet today can trace their maternal lineage back to her.

But Mitochondrial Eve was not the first female human. Homo sapiens evolved in Africa around 200,000 years ago, and the first hominids – characterized by their unique bipedal stature – appeared nearly two million years before that. Though Homo sapiens have been around for about 200,000 years, about 150,000 to 170,000 years ago, a woman was born from whom we are all descended. This happened 30,000 years after Homo sapiens evolved in Africa.

Eventually, for any number of reasons, all of the other lineages of people went extinct, and “Mitochondrial Eve” as we call her, was the only female who had descendants that are now living in the present day. We can all be traced back to that one woman, who lived about 170,000 years ago.

Which begs the question, “So why Eve?”

Simply put, Eve was a survivor. A maternal line can become extinct for a number of reasons. A woman may not have children, or she may bear only sons (who do not pass her mtDNA to the next generation). She may fall victim to a catastrophic event such as a volcanic eruption, flood, or famine, all of which have plagued humans since the dawn of our species.

None of these extinction events happened to Eve’s line. It may have been simple luck, or it may have been something much more. It was around this same time that modern humans’ intellectual capacity underwent what author Jared Diamond coined the Great Leap Forward. Many anthropologists believe that the emergence of language gave us a huge advantage over other early human species. Improved tools and weapons, the ability to plan ahead and cooperate with one another, and an increased capacity to exploit resources in ways we hadn’t been able to earlier, all allowed modern humans to rapidly migrate to new territories, exploit new resources, and outcompete and replace other hominids, such as the Neandertals.

It is difficult to pinpoint the chain of events that led to Eve’s unique success, but we can say with certainty that all of us trace our maternal lineage back to this one woman.

The L Haplogroups: The Deepest Branches

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0

Mitochondrial Eve represents the root of the human family tree. Her descendents, moving around within Africa, eventually split into two distinct groups, characterized by a different set of mutations their members carry.

These groups are referred to as L0 and L1, and these individuals have the most divergent genetic sequences of anybody alive today, meaning they represent the deepest branches of the mitochondrial tree. Importantly, current genetic data indicates that indigenous people belonging to these groups are found exclusively in Africa. This means that, because all humans have a common female ancestor, “Eve,” and because the genetic data shows that Africans are the oldest groups on the planet, we know our species originated there.

Haplogroups L1 and L0 likely originated in East Africa and then spread throughout the rest of the continent. Today, these lineages are found at highest frequencies in Africa’s indigenous populations, the hunter-gatherer groups who have maintained their ancestors’ culture, language, and customs for thousands of years.

At some point, after these two groups had coexisted in Africa for a few thousand years, something important happened. The mitochondrial sequence of a woman in one of these groups, L1, mutated. A letter in her DNA changed, and because many of her descendants have survived to the present, this change has become a window into the past. The descendants of this woman, characterized by this signpost mutation, went on to form their own group, called L2. Because the ancestor of L2 was herself a member of L1, we can say something about the emergence of these important groups: Eve begat L1, and L1 begat L2. Now we’re starting to move down your ancestral line.

Haplogroup L2: West Africa

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0 > L2

L2 individuals are found in sub-Saharan Africa, and like their L1 predecessors, they also live in Central Africa and as far south as South Africa. But whereas L1/L0 individuals remained predominantly in eastern and southern Africa, your ancestors broke off into a different direction, which you can follow on the map above.

L2 individuals are most predominant in West Africa, where they constitute the majority of female lineages. And because L2 individuals are found at high frequencies and widely distributed along western Africa, they represent one of the predominant lineages in African-Americans. Unfortunately, it is difficult to pinpoint where a specific L2 lineage might have arisen. For an African-American who is L2 – the likely result of West Africans being brought to America during the slave trade – it is difficult to say with certainty exactly where in Africa that lineage arose.

Fortunately, collaborative sampling with indigenous groups is currently underway to help learn more about these types of questions and to possibly bridge the gap that was created during those transatlantic voyages hundreds of years ago.

Haplogroup L3: Out of Africa

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0 > L2 > L3

Your next signpost ancestor is the woman whose birth around 80,000 years ago began haplogroup L3. It is a similar story: an individual in L2 underwent a mutation to her mitochondrial DNA, which was passed onto her children. The children were successful, and their descendants ultimately broke away from the L2 clan, eventually separating into a new group called L3. You can see above that this has revealed another step in your ancestral line.

While L3 individuals are found all over Africa, including the southern reaches of sub-Sahara, L3 is important for its movements north. You can follow this movement of the map above, seeing first the expansions of L1/L0, then L2, and followed by the northward migration of L3.

Your L3 ancestors were significant because they are the first modern humans to have left Africa, representing the deepest branches of the tree found outside of that continent.

Why would humans have first ventured out of the familiar African hunting grounds and into unexplored lands? It is likely that a fluctuation in climate may have provided the impetus for your ancestors’ exodus out of Africa.

The African Ice Age was characterized by drought rather than by cold. Around 50,000 years ago the ice sheets of northern Europe began to melt, introducing a period of warmer temperatures and moister climate in Africa. Parts of the inhospitable Sahara briefly became habitable. As the drought-ridden desert changed to savanna, the animals your ancestors hunted expanded their range and began moving through the newly emerging green corridor of grasslands. Your nomadic ancestors followed the good weather and plentiful game northward across this Saharan Gateway, although the exact route they followed remains to be determined.

Today, L3 individuals are found at high frequencies in populations across North Africa. From there, members of this group went in a few different directions. Some lineages within L3 testify to a distinct expansion event in the mid-Holocene that headed south, and are predominant in many Bantu groups found all over Africa. One group of individuals headed west and is primarily restricted to Atlantic western Africa, including the islands of Cabo Verde.

Other L3 individuals, your ancestors, kept moving northward, eventually leaving the African continent completely. These people currently make up around ten percent of the Middle Eastern population, and gave rise to two important haplogroups that went on to populate the rest of the world.

Haplogroup N: The Incubation Period

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0 > L2 > L3 > N

Your next signpost ancestor is the woman whose descendants formed haplogroup N. Haplogroup N comprises one of two groups that were created by the descendants of L3.

The first of these groups, M, was the result of the first great wave of migration of modern humans to leave Africa. These people likely left the continent across the Horn of Africa near Ethiopia, and their descendants followed a coastal route eastward, eventually making it all the way to Australia and Polynesia.

The second great wave, also of L3 individuals, moved north rather than east and left the African continent across the Sinai Peninsula, in present-day Egypt. Also faced with the harsh desert conditions of the Sahara, these people likely followed the Nile basin, which would have proved a reliable water and food supply in spite of the surrounding desert and its frequent sandstorms.

Descendants of these migrants eventually formed haplogroup N. Early members of this group lived in the eastern Mediterranean region and western Asia, where they likely coexisted for a time with other hominids such as Neandertals. Excavations in Israel’s Kebara Cave (Mount Carmel) have unearthed Neandertal skeletons as recent as 60,000 years old, indicating that there was both geographic and temporal overlap of these two hominids.

The ancient members of haplogroup N spawned many sublineages, which spread across much of the rest of the globe and are found throughout Asia, Europe, India, and the Americas.

Haplogroup R: Spreading Out

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0 > L2 > L3 > N > R

After several thousand years in the Near East, individuals belonging to a new group called haplogroup R began to move out and explore the surrounding areas. Some moved south, migrating back into northern Africa. Others went west across Anatolia (present-day Turkey) and north across the Caucasus Mountains of Georgia and southern Russia. Still others headed east into the Middle East, and on to Central Asia. All of these individuals had one thing in common: they shared a female ancestor from the N clan, a recent descendant of the migration out of Africa.

The story of haplogroup R is complicated, however, because these individuals can be found almost everywhere, and because their origin is quite ancient. In fact, the ancestor of haplogroup R lived relatively soon after humans moved out of Africa during the second wave, and her descendants undertook many of the same migrations as her own group, N.

Because the two groups lived side by side for thousands of years, it is likely that the migrations radiating out from the Near East comprised individuals from both of these groups. They simply moved together, bringing their N and R lineages to the same places around the same times. The tapestry of genetic lines became quickly entangled, and geneticists are currently working to unravel the different stories of haplogroups N and R, since they are found in many of the same far-reaching places.

Haplogroup T: Your Branch on the Tree

Ancestral line: “Eve” > L1/L0 > L2 > L3 > N > R > T

We finally arrive at your own clan, a group of individuals who descend from a woman in the R branch of the tree. The divergent genetic lineage that constitutes haplogroup T indicates that she lived sometime around 40,000 years ago.

Haplogroup T has a very wide distribution, and is present as far east as the Indus Valley bordering India and Pakistan and as far south as the Arabian Peninsula. It is also common in eastern and northern Europe. Although your haplogroup was present during the early and middle Upper Paleolithic, T is largely considered one of the main genetic signatures of the Neolithic expansions.

While groups of hunter-gatherers and subsistence fishermen had been occupying much of Eurasia for tens of thousands of years, around ten thousand years ago a group of modern humans living in the Fertile Crescent – present-day eastern Turkey and northern Syria – began domesticating the plants, nuts, and seeds they had been collecting. What resulted were the world’s first agriculturalists, and this new cultural era is typically referred to as the Neolithic.

Groups of individuals able to support larger populations with this reliable food source began migrating out of the Middle East, bringing their new technology with them. By then, humans had already settled much of the surrounding areas, but this new agricultural technology proved too successful to ignore, and the surrounding groups quickly copied these new immigrants. Interestingly, DNA data indicate that while these new agriculturalists were incredibly successful at planting their technology in the surrounding groups, they were far less successful at planting their own genetic seed. Agriculture was quickly and widely adopted, but the lineages carried by these Neolithic expansions are found today at frequencies seldom greater than 20 percent in Europe, the Middle East, and Central Asia.

Anthropology vs. Genealogy

DNA markers require a long time to become informative. While mutations occur in every generation, it requires at least hundreds – normally thousands – of years for these markers to become windows back into the past, signposts on the human tree.

Still, our own genetic sequences often reveal that we fall within a particular sub-branch, a smaller, more recent branch on the tree.

While it may be difficult to say anything about the history of these sub-groups, they do reveal other people who are more closely related to us. It is a useful way to help bridge the anthropology of population genetics with the genealogy to which we are all accustomed.

One of the ways you can bridge this gap is to compare your own genetic lineage to those of people living all over the world. Mitosearch.org is a database that allows you to compare both your genetic sequence as well as your surname to those of thousands of people who have already joined the database. This type of search is a valuable way of inferring population events that have occurred in more recent times (i.e., the past few hundred years).

Looking Forward (Into the Past): Where Do We Go From Here?

Although the arrow of your haplogroup currently ends across Western Eurasia, this isn’t the end of the journey for haplogroup T. This is where the genetic clues get murky and your DNA trail goes cold. Your initial results shown here are based upon the best information available today—but this is just the beginning.

A fundamental goal of the Genographic Project is to extend these arrows further toward the present day. To do this, Genographic has brought together ten renowned scientists and their teams from all over the world to study questions vital to our understanding of human history. By working together with indigenous peoples around the globe, we are learning more about these ancient migrations.

Help Us Find More Clues!

But there is another way that we will learn more about the past. By contributing your own results to the project, you will be allowed to participate anonymously in this ongoing research effort. This is important because it may contribute a great deal to our understanding of more recent human migrations. Click the yellow button below in the “Help Us Tell the Story” section of your results profile to learn more about this. It’s quick, easy, and anonymous, but will help us further refine our analyses.

Don’t Be a Stranger

Finally, keep checking these pages to follow along with the project and our latest findings; your results profile will be automatically updated to reflect any new information that may come to light based on the research.

By the Genographic Project

November 2, 2009

London – some time later…

Filed under: english — sulamita @ 11:27 am

Some weeks ago, I went to San Francisco for Intel Developers Forum, to present a Moblin training session. It was my first business travel since my relocation to London, and many colleges I haven’t seen in a while wanted to know how the whole moving thing was working out for me. As I was telling them and repeating it several times, I started missing home, and this time home meant London. It’s said that you are really adapted to a place after six months, and this is my sixth month, so I guess I made the transition already.

While I was away, the stuff I missed most were my flat, my bed, my pillow, my things. After so much trouble to get everything the way I wanted (cancerian, argh…) – from finding someone to assembly my wardrobe bought piece by piece at IKEA (which have stores almost as far as a galaxy far far away…), to paint and assembly the legs and lift the 32kg glass top for my computer table all by myself, to the wall stickers – so it’s natural I want to enjoy it. But there are many things I like in here as well.

The most practical effect is feeling safe. As any other big city, London has its crimes and problems, but it’s completely different from Sao Paulo, where I used to drive with one eye always in the mirror, always scare to drive home late, avoided using my cell phone on the street and didn’t watched the news anymore to avoid panic syndrome. This fact alone already makes it worthy. Now I need to stop reading news from Brazil so often, because every time I do it depresses me, and I feel sad for friends and family, although makes me happier for leaving. Here, even some neighborhoods considered ‘dangerous’ like Brixton aren’t that bad; three guys in the office live there and said it isn’t so bad.

But I think my favorite thing is that any day, anywhere, you will hear at least half dozen different languages: French, Japanese, German, many others I don’t recognize and of course, Portuguese. It’s unbelievable the amount of Brazilian in this city, there isn’t a single day where I don’t hear one, from socialites-wannabes posing for pictures next to the Big Ben to friends talking on the bus – always the louder ones. My new PT is Brazilian (and I’m her personal nerd :D ), as well another PT and the receptionist at the gym – our little mafia. At the office with about 20 people, I guess only half are British. It’s normal to see women in saris or veils in the street, and even in burkhas; they go side by side with the micro skirts on the tube. Meanwhile, in Brazil, a student was harassed and threatened to be raped because she went to university (university!!!) on a mini dress…

It took me about two weeks to start understand and assimilate the accent, although I still need to concentrate when someone Scottish is speaking. But now I can understand the comedy shows on the telly :) for the accent and the events of that week. Make fun out of the prime minister is always on the agenda. The sense of humor here is very different, acid, sarcastic (I love it), pushing – and sometimes crossing – the boundaries of offensive, but that boundary goes different for each person. I bought the dvds of the original The Office, with Ricky Gervais; I had watched the American one before, with Steve Carrel. The difference between the two shows reflects perfectly the British sense of humor. While watching the American version, I very often felt sorry for Carrel’s character. When I was watching the original, it was the first time I physically hated a fictional character. Every time Gervais character used to enter the scene, I wanted to punch him. Coincidentally, on the same weekend I caught one of his stand-ups on the TV. While most of the time I was laughing so hard I was crying, sometimes I couldn’t believe he was actually saying that. Another precious moment was listening – also on TV – Phill Jupitus talking about an insane guy who entered the lions’ cage on London zoo, and about his arachnophobia. Update: I thought Gervais was bad(in a good way), but I found out he is just middleweight. Watching Jim Jefferies, I discovered the heavyweights…

Food is the main thing people from other places complain about, and for me it seems to be the thing people from here remember most when out. It’s not impossible to have a decent diet – you either have to be really rich, or to know how to cook. Otherwise, you’re stuck with a sandwich based diet. I prepare most of my meals, and eat out about 3 to 4 times a week. Most of the time eating out means to buy a soup or sandwich on EAT – or POD, since Matthew taught me EAT is corporate-evil and POD is familiar-nice – and have it in the office’s kitchen with everybody else. This is also an exercise for me, trying to follow and understand the jokes; it feels kind of trying to understand the internal jokes on Friends without seeing the previous seasons (haaaaah, Unagui…). Sometimes I just listen, sometimes I just daydream away , and other times I ask what that means – not always, because there must be nothing else more boring than explaining jokes all the time :) Some bring food from home, and it’s really easy to find vegetarian options – I’m not a vegetarian but I like to have vegetables as well. The thing I miss most is a good sushi, I can only find fast-food options or hear about 100 pounds per person restaurants – and for this money, I rather do a course.

This month I also went out dancing a couple of times – finally!!! It’s funny for me to be in a place where most people don’t have a clue about dancing to the rhythm to the music :) most local women tend to overdo the ‘trying to be sexy’ dancing, I guess – which never works. Germanic people seem to be stuck on the robot dancing style, while the Brazilians think dancing needs overdoing facial expressions and playing with the hair. But what I really don’t understand is why men going out trying to score don’t realize the ones that learn how to dance or at least go to the dance floor have their changes multiplied…

I got here during the summer, and we had plenty of lovely, sunny days with blue sky. There were days when the temperature reached 30oC! People tell me how lucky I was to be here during summer and to have time to adjust, those who arrive during winter get depressed very quickly. Winter season is only beginning, and we already have an average of 10oC. Yesterday was one of those days for what London is known for, gray, cold, rainy, although the rain is that thin thing that goes everywhere than a proper rain for what you need an umbrella. We had a day like this sometime ago, and a woman in the office told me the suicide rate must had peaked that day. This doesn’t bother me yet, but for many people it’s unbearable. I think the weather only aggravate one’s mood, and those not happy here want to go back or move away. However, I have no plans for going anywhere so soon, only if it’s for visiting…

August 4, 2009

Wasted Years

Filed under: english,momentos musicais — sulamita @ 4:54 pm

dsc03169

From the coast of gold, across the seven seas,
I’m travelling on, far and wide,
But now it seems, I’m just a stranger to myself,
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn’t me but someone else.

I close my eyes, and think of home,
Another city goes by, in the night,
Ain’t it funny how it is, you never miss it til it’s gone away,
And my heart is lying there and will be til my dying day.

So understand
Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up…make your stand,
And realise you’re living in the golden years.

Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind,
Can’t ease this pain, so easily,
When you can’t find the words to say, it’s hard to make it through another day,
And it makes me wanna cry, and throw my hands up to the sky.

So understand
Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up…make your stand,
And realise you’re living in the golden years…

July 29, 2009

So What?

Filed under: english,momentos musicais — sulamita @ 5:22 pm

Pink is the Queen…

Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na

I guess I just lost my husband
I don’t know where he went
So I’m gonna drink my money
I’m not gonna pay his rent (nope!)
I got a brand new attitude
And I’m gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na na na na na na na
I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na na na
I wanna start a fight

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rockstar
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just checked my table
And gave to Jessica Simp- Shit!
I guess I’ll go sit with drum boy
At least he’ll know how to hit
What if this song’s on the radio
Then somebody’s gonna die
I’m gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

Na na na na na na na
He’s gonna start a fight
Na na na na na na na
We’re all gonna get in a fight!

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight

You weren’t there
You never were
You weren’t all
But thats not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren’t there
You let me fall

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done (we’re done)
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright(I’m alright),I’m just fine (I’m just fine)
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight

No no, no no
I don’t want you tonight
You weren’t fair
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight

Ba da da da da da (pfft!)

July 17, 2009

It’s raining women – My skydiving experience

Filed under: english,powerpuffgirls — sulamita @ 1:27 pm

I didn’t know exactly why I was doing it, and there was a screaming voice in my head pushing me back out saying “what the fuck you think you’re doing?!?!?!?!” but I did it: I jumped out of a plane 13000 feet high attached only to another person who had only a backpack. Well, into that backpack was the parachute and that person was a highly trained instructor, but none of this crossed my mind when I was free-falling into the sky and into a cloud, where I could see nothing and barely breath.

But let’s break it into pieces, because yesterday I felt like the whole world was about me, and I would like very much to share this whole experience. If you’re only interested in the dive itself, go to the end of this page, this first part is more about the whole experience I had today. It started at 5:15AM on 16 of July 2009, my 32nd birthday, when for the 3rd day in a roll my sleep vanished. I gave up sleeping, went to make some cofffee, take a shower, avoid the computer and make sure I had all information on how to get into the Weston airfield for my previously booked tandem skydiving. At 7:15, I believe, I was out, with sufficient time to catch the 8:24 train to Bicester North, or so I thought… Jubilee line had problems, people on the ticket line had problems, so I had time only to see the train leaving… ok, next one in 30 min. Or so I thought :) I swear I saw the message “Calling at … Bicester North…” both on the platform and the train, and here I went. First minutes looking at the window and listening to music, and in the first stop, this lady sits on the other side of the train and says things I’m not understanding, but seems like she wants to chat. Why not, I thought, and took off my phones and nodded with a smile. She was from Wolverhampton, she was coming back from her granddaughter graduation trip; she loved to travel and goes many times to Canada. She thinks skydiving was really interesting, and one of her daughters does all sorts of this crazy things. She remembers the bombing in the last war, but as she was only 2 years old, she was more curious than scared. She finds weird that nowadays they serve tea in any place only in very large cups. And suddenly she asked me where exactly was I going, and as we couldn’t see it on the information display, we called the attendant that confirmed I was in the wrong train. But fortunately, in 10 min we would pass by the very next station from the one I should be going, where I could take the very next train, which next stop would be where I needed. And so I did, thanking not only the lady but also all my saints, gods, goddess, cosmic energy or FSM

Arriving on the airfield one hour later than planned, I looked for Alf from Skydiving Alfresco, and I was told he was on the plain and should be down quickly. That was the first of many many jokes I heard there, which I really appreciated. During the next several hours waiting my turn, the jokes and twittering were my tools for not panicking – I forgot my towel… I was actually relieved to find I would have to wait, so I went to the gathering house, watched some TV – which puts your mind in the alpha-relaxed-non-thinking state, and then felt brave again and went to the watching area after the hangar. Unfortunately it was a cloudy day, but when I was getting close to the area there was an opening and the sunshine welcomed me, and the sound system around the field connected to a local radio station started to play Easy Lover:

“You’re the one that wants to hold her
Hold her and control her
You’d better forget it
You’ll never get it

No don’t try to change her, just leave it, leave it…”

I saw the airplane going up, few people dropping, and I was actually disappoint because it seemed to be not much high and too quickly, but, ok, maybe it’s better that way. After some minutes I was nervous again, and back to the house. I met this girl with shaking hands in the bathroom, she had a bad landing and twisted her thumb, but kept telling me how much it worth. She was from Scotland and had travel just to this jump, among many students. Again, getting nervous, but telling myself ‘I so not going to back down now’. Later back to the watching area, I recognised Alf by the description on the uniform and the pictures, we talked and then later he started the instructions. It was easy, but at that moment just felt like too much information my scaling nervousness could remember, but I tried. And of course, if I’m always making jokes, under the circumstances I was on fire, as my twitter statuses can tell. I met this couple who also was waiting for the tandem, and two other girls. It took a lot more time than it seems, because very often the plane needed to go refuel or went to do some display in the area, but I wasn’t exactly urging for it. When the two other girls went to dive, I was back into the watching area to see how the tandem was and the landing. Hm, where is this plane going? F*** that’s high!!! So I learned that what I was watching before was the students, who are dropped into a much lower high and seem they immediately open their parachutes. For the professionals and tandems, it was way higher – double, actually. So high I couldn’t see the plane anymore, just people suddenly dropping out of clouds. And the sound system starts to play ‘It’s raining men’… see, even the unknown was in a good mood. One of the girls had a bad landing, not serious, but must have hurt a bit when she put her feet on the ground earlier than should and the instructor landed on her legs. So I told to myself to do not play the smart one and just let go, you will only do what you’re told to do.

So, it was my turn to put the graceful (not!) outfit, stop twittering and get ready. My mouth felt drier than ever but I only took some sips of water, and even with a painful hunger – it was about 2PM and I had breakfast really early and only some grapes and a chocolate for lunch (don’t tell my PT) – I was glad I haven’t eat, because my stomach was also trying to convince me I shouldn’t do it. A last training, and again Alf told me he had taken up to 190kg before so I was really easy. I asked how, and then learned he took a guy from a Scandinavian don’t-remember-what-sport team, actually several of them, and the tallest one was 2,14m and 190kg. Ok, good to know. Last signatures, say hi to the camera, jumping around to release some of the excitement/panic. Kylie Minogue started sounding… Time to go on the plane, and Alf was required by rules to hold me by the straps from that moment on, which felt appropriate since my legs started to protest against it as well. I’ve told him before that if I started panicking, he should just ignore and push me out of the plane.

Alf also told me that it was a good place to make friends, because the plane was really cozy. There was about 15 people inside the tiny plane, really close to each other, and then I think it started to really hit me – oh my god, I’m really doing this. Yet one last time the question ‘why am I doing that’ crossed my mind, with no answer yet, but I knew I had to figure out and answer to that urge to just do it. A small plane seems to go with the nose really up, but I guess it’s the same for regular planes, just because they’re bigger so you don’t feel it. But that was a part I’ve done before, so it wasn’t scaring – until they open the door at 6500 feet to drop a student – and I started to panic again. But I was decided to not back down, even if it meant go to tears. Last review of the instructions also for the camera, Alf makes the last joke saying ‘and that means I will pull the parachute (crossing fingers) that will hopefully open’ and I tried to concentrate into the instructions and don’t break into the panic. And at the negative to ‘any last question?’, people started to singing Happy Birthday to me!!!!

There was one last question for me: “are you ready to skydiving?” I just shouted yes and felt the adrenaline taking over. Than we were at 13000 feet, the door was open again and people started to jump out like it was nothing. I don’t know how I managed to go to the door, but there was I, hearing myself almost crying, and I managed to do the only thing I was expected to do: cross my arms and grab the straps in my shoulders, put my legs up, back, crossed and bend it the most I could. How did I managed to do that at the airplane door I don’t know yet, but my I think my body actually reacted grabbing the straps the hardest I ever thought I could, and bendding my legs even more to get close to the only thing keeping me into the plane, the instructor. I think I remember he pulling my head back, which I had forgotten. And on the same time I was involuntarily screaming ‘nooooooooooooooooooo’, we jumped.

You know the feeling when you face an air turbulence and the airplane sudden drops? It was that, but for waaaaay longer. I was not in control of anything, and even if my mind kept telling ‘I’m not going to die‘, my brain was screaming ‘whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy’. Then I got a tap in my shoulder, and I think I’ve been with my eyes closed to there. Then I released my arms, and we were into a cloud. And there was the video guy, and I think a piece of my brain got really perplexed to the whole thing: I was in accelerated free fall, the cloud was all over and I could only see this guy’s eyes. I think I tried to make signs to the camera and get control of myself again, but I’m pretty sure I will look absolutely terrified in the video.

Than, 45sec later – which felt way longer but now seems like just 5 – I got this tapping on my shoulder meaning I should again grab the straps and get ready for the second part, and I couldn’t do it properly, there was no space for my hand. Since I was expecting the parachute breaking the fall to be really hard, I just grabbed a strap above my shoulders and prepared my body for the impact. Surprisingly, it was very soft. Then I was flying. I was grasping for air like I never before, while I heard myself making some sounds like crying really hard. Some bad words also came out. Alf was stabilizing the parachute, and ‘welcomed me to his office’. “Most people work a quarter of their lives to get a office with a view…”. Ok, the worst was over… Finally, I started to enjoy the view and the feeling. Out there, just flying, looking at everything, like from an regular flight, but there was no plane. Just suspended in the air. After a while, Alf started to make some turns too fast, and I had to tell him I was going to be sick if he didn’t stop, and so the rest was nice and easy, just to enjoy and start realizing what I’ve just done.

Very few minutes later, I received the instructions to get ready for landing. I put my arms behind my legs, pulling them, and tried to put my feet upfront; if I touched the ground before him, we may get hurt. I told myself ‘again, sneaky one, don’t try to control and even if you feel you should step, you won’t until you’re told so’. And next thing, we landed, seating, no injuries, no nothing. I only wanted to be there for some minutes, but there was the camera again and I had to wave to it, when I realized “oh, it is high definition”. I think that’s something they didn’t expected to hear…

When I felt strong enough to walk, I went to the hangar. I was sweating very much, and was told that was a body reaction to adrenaline. I received last instructions to drink lots of water because I would be dehydrated from the whole thing. I wished the couple good luck, thanked Alf for the whole thing. I realize that having a professional that is ready to answer any question, gives you plenty of information and makes you feel you have something to trust even when you’re panicking, it was key so I could do it. So, thanks again, Alf, and if anyone in UK wants a good reference, the website is here.

Than I was out the hangar, in my regular clothes, feeling relieve, but now I started to feeling something else. For a second, I felt bad I was so terrified I missed the free fall, but only for a second, when I though: “are you kidding me? look at what you just did, you still asking to be perfect???” You know what, I rock! I’m a fucking awesome badass redhead riot woman! I was so proud of myself!

Than I realize what was I doing, and why I was doing it. No mater how much my friends told me, I was never been able to met my own standards. No mater how much had I worked, seen, read, learned, made, I still had all those old messages printed in my head since early age that I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, I didn’t make it right. And I had to jump out of a plane at 13000 feet, more than 6000 miles away from hometown (in a straight line), to convince myself I can do anything. I’m brave enough to brake any convention and do what I want to do, not what I should do or what other people think I should do.

I knew I wouldn’t die. I knew I wouldn’t hurt myself if I only let go, let go the control, you’re don’t need to be encharge of everything. I knew I could and I should trust a complete strange. I knew I was kept safe by forces we can’t yet explain. I knew I had brake through. I overcome my own limits and did something because I wanted it, even my whole body was trying prevent me from doing it. My limits are only in my head, my mind is free and want to embrace the world, to know the unknown, to fly, to change history, to live life at full. I felt so overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness I could only be thankful for this amazing day and experience, whose consequences and insights I’m still realizing. I felt all the love and caring from my friends, my family, and many people we touch lifes everyday without realizing how much impact we can have. I realized how much some people impacted my own life, and probably have no idea of that. Some I will have to opportunity to tell, some not, like that nice lady from the train that besides all the cold and anti-immigration stereotype there may be about British people from the country side, helped me to feel welcome and saved me from hours running around lost. I hope wherever she is, she receive my thankful feelings.

So, that’s my experience. If you feel any compelling to do skydiving, do it. Even if you don’t really know why, your soul knows better. Do it.

Ave Mary A
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
How did you know to get out of a world gone mad?
Help me let go
Of the chaos around me
The devil that hounds me
I need you to tell me
Child, be still

Seek and shall ye find…

PS.: Pictures here, trying to get the video online. It’s really interesting to watch your own reactions, and completely different to what I remembered. I didn’t know I was smiling and enjoying it so much. The video is even better, just need to figure how to rip it.

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